with Negative Feelings.
Readers' Comments
I have rarely had the time or interest to read a book twice. However, Dr. Paschal Baute's Win-Win Finesse is one of those books that is well worth that second read. It is, in its "art of dealing with negative feelings," the essence of wisdom in communications. If we all tried these techniques for getting the responses we want from people (as clearly explained and demonstrated in the numerous examples in this book), we might get along a lot better. A "must" for anyone dealing with other human beings!
Robin Inwald, Ph.D.
Director, Hilson Research, Inc.
Kew Gardens, NY
"The Win-Win Finesse is very effective. It is real stuff and it works. It has created a much more positive and solution based atmosphere within our company".
Steve Mobley
President , Mid-Atlantic Business Communications Inc.
Business Technology Solutions
Portsmouth, VA
www.mabc.com
A delightfully engaging short story that teaches an amazingly powerful, easy-to-learn, and broadly applicable technique of conflict resolution. "The Win-Win Finesse" will meet an important need in the overlapping arenas of our personal, family, and professional lives. This book is truly a gem! It's simple, creative, and powerful. It will be a blessing to untold thousands, opening new vistas of healthy relationships and fresh possibilities.
Sam Quick, Ph.D.
Professor and Human Development Specialist
Department of Family Studies
University of Kentucky
samquick@alltel.net
...I loved this little book! In these days of Harry Potter, it employs a neat device to communicate the presentation of ideas, with a story form that begins with a person with a problem. So the reader gets hooked. .
The thing I liked most about the content was that you have a sound model to use to test to see the effectiveness of the ideas presented. I wish I had that insight when I was running the manufacturing plants during my 30 working years. My approach to that key business issue was probably more abrupt and less effective than yours.
I also liked your qualifier that your approach won't work on 100% of the people engaged. Too many ideas these days are presented as panaceas to solve every problem on the topic presented.
Tom McAllister, retired plant manager.
...This little book will undoubtedly help everyone become more aware of the need to recognize these problems and apply these simple techniques to resolving conflict whenever and wherever they occur.
–Robert A. Baker, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus, Psychology, University of Kentucky, Lexington, Ky
"A charming lesson in giving negative feedback, with deep implications for reverencing the people you work with, and caring about their feelings."
William Cleary, author Prayers For Lovers and other books.
This idea is a real winner. The points and the reasoning for them are excellent. I also like the idea of the "wizard" in dreams, and how you have handled that. It keeps one's interest. It was an enjoyable read.
Cara Richards, Ph. D.. Emeritus Anthroplogy Professor, Transylvania University.
Win Win Finesse is quick reading, and the story is very fluid and smooth. We have been learning from Dr. Baute's coaching and training for many years.
–Mike Fister, President and CEO, VINCENT FISTER INC.
While reading The Win-Win Finesse, I thought, "This message makes so much sense!" Learning these skills will help me deal more effectively with people at work and make me a better spouse and parent.
Hooray for Paschal Baute! His book is life-enhancing, the message enticing. I am already using the skills I have learned from reading this little book.
—Joe Graves, businessman, former State Senator. Lexington, Ky 40502.
It packs a fine and powerful message. I am not good at the business world but I can clearly see the need for win-win and surely this would be a terrific boon for the church if the bishops could appreciate such.
--Tom McMahon, San Jose, California.
We think the method has worked well for us in several contexts -- Ann, in the classroom (languages on high school and college level); George, in law practice, especially in the areas of family law (divorce property settlements, visitation agreements), estate planning (who gets what, who gets anything), and collections (UOMe).
A memorable exception was a hard-headed Air Force pilot who wouldn't accept a Win-Win property and custody arrangement, insisted on going before the judge, and wound up with far less
than Geo's client had offered.
Of course every now and then we do W-W with each other, now we think of you every time we do! We hope you Win-Win big with your book!
Ann & George May
Thank you for sharing this with me. I loved it. Because I have so little time to read real stuff beyond the newspapers and periodicals I have to read daily, I was refreshed by reading your missive.
You stretched my brain a bit-- and I loved it.
Kathy W. Stein, House Representative, State Legislature, Lexington, Ky.
WIN-WIN FINESSE
The heroine who gets her mother working on her conflict situations problems
here is an 11 –year old Harry Potter fan. Maybe that is why the whole story
reads something like Harry Potter philosophy. It is an easy to read story
with a huge punch!
In any conflict situation the victim has to move one of three ways, be
passive, be aggressive – or be assertive. But being assertive is not always
easy. How to get over assertiveness without sounding aggressive? Often it
is easier to let it go, and just be passive – and stressed out! Take a
little time to read this short book and you too will find the magical secret
to win !
My field of study is Clergy and their problems. I can see the lessons
applied in this book as working well for Fr Murphy in his parish disputes
with Mrs O'Bubblegum and her interminable arguments about the flowers for
the altar; the parish associates meeting; the constant pressure to ‘take
sides' between warring factions of the parish and the successful outcome of
a much needed but difficult encounter with the Bishop.
But it is, like the famous wizard schoolboy, a book which will have a far
reaching readership. For I can see this being a very useful guide for high
school children, on how to cope with the conflicts with their parents,
teachers and peers. It will work, obviously, for the business person in
his/her daily encounter with their own environment, it will work for the
bored assistants on the refreshments counter trying not to lose their job
by ‘answering back' the unappreciative and often downright rude customer. –
and yes, it will help that customer put their complaint in a better way and
get better service as a result!
This little book reads like a story. It is not another ‘How to survive in
this world' text-book. You will enjoy reading it, and learning, along with
our heroines mother, how to improve your assertiveness in an entirely unique
way, and reach a win every time solution with finesse. The Win Win Finesse
in fact!
Maria Hubert von Staufer, author, Jane Austen's Christmas: the Festive Season in Georgian England, and six other books on Christmas
Win-Win Finesse is a useful, reader-friendly book with a simple -- though decidedly not simplistic -- message. It will help anyone seeking peace and prosperity in their office, home, church, or civic organization.
-- Neil Chethik, author of FatherLoss: How sons of all ages come to terms with the deaths of their dads